I bumped across this.
An 18-year old engineering student could not approach her mother when she was abused by her uncles. “I had been abused by my maternal uncles for five to six years and after a while it just stopped bothering me. It just didn’t matter and I did not tell my mother because I didn’t expect her to understand,” she said.Quite alarming. I thought it was total strangers who rape, not uncles and brothers. Now I know better. The worst part is, most parents hush it up.
What can a girl do in such a case? Those who were supposed to be helping her were making her life a living underworld. I wonder what a young girl will be thinking when she is going to be raped, they probably don't know about sex, considering India's highly conservative attitude.
And many parents don't want to believe it. Or maybe they do, just don't want to ruin the 'family reputation' and make a mess of it. Or maybe they think they can't do anything about it. What reputation do they think they have by actually allowing their children to get raped? Maybe others will continue to think well of them while they themselves are facing problems.
It found that 76 percent of respondents had been sexually abused as children; of them 71 per cent were abused by relatives or someone they knew and trusted.I wonder why. Probably because rapists feel safer abusing someone who they know trusts them. And they would have easy access to them too. Just walk into the house...
Sex Education: Does it help?
Living in denial isn’t going to help. We need to accept that incest occurs in many families and once we accept the reality, we can then fight it. It is our responsibility to talk to our children and to introspect ourselves as parents. As we introduce sex education in schools, egged on by the fear psychosis of HIV and AIDS we should include the topic of sexual abuse and include lessons that encourage girls to stand up for themselves, that give them courage to say ‘No!’ And the courage to share their trauma with an adult.There was this sex education 'talk' thing in our school a few months ago. It was a total mess. The 'educator' avoided the real topic about sex and instead focused on HIV/AIDS. He was actually suggesting that sex was a bad thing and only should be done after marriage. The worst thing to do with a group of hormone-pumped teenagers is to TELL them to do something. I don't know about other places, but I suspect it's the same everywhere, except for a few places. As a side note, many people in India(including women) don't what what a clitoris is.
Sex Education in it's proper form does help however.
To Arms: Prevention is better than therapy
If the rapers can't be stopped, then the raped must be armed. Children must be taught to fight back. Not in the literal sense. But given knowlegde about what can happen can help likely victims avoid it. Knowledge is Power, they say. Also it can give them courage to face the situation if they are forced to face it. Atleast they know what's happening. They'll also be given courage to tell others what's happening.
And parents should not shush things, they should take action. If the uncle is raping, then it's the uncle who will be in trouble. Nobody will gasp at the mother/father for that. It's not exactly their fault.
Out of the Shell
Indians need to start shedding their conservativeness, because they are way too conservative. Mothers don't allow love-marriages for Lord's sake. What's wrong with that, I don't know. If we don't change a bit faster, the whole world might surpass us.