Peeing on trees

I recently got pissed off by a friend who claimed pissing on the trees would make holes in them and it is unhealthy and all things bad.

Research.

Human Urine is actually used as a fertilizer. For small plants it is diluted 1:10 or more. For large trees I expect that one can directly pee, no problemo!

'Fresh' urine is actually more sterile than a lot of the fertilizers available out there. All the bacteria are filtered out by your body. Result is something so rich, it's a tad bit too rich. And also with too much salt, hence the dilution. Urine is eco-friendly. And even developed contries are looking into it's potential uses as a fertilizer.

So, hell. Pee on all the plants you want. Just make sure no-one's watching.

PS: Much consternation has been undergone by me while writing this ridiculous post. I have been ridiculed, labeled jobless and laughed at. But for the tree hugging community, this is indeed a millenious event.

The Time Slip Theory

'Time shall slip through your slimy fingers'

An infamous theory made by a dead and unremembered great theorist, The Time Slip Theory explains all annoying phenomenon related to your time management problems.

In essence, it states "You suck at this". The theory gained widespread prominence in the 20 century as people started having more work than time. Insane as it may seem to compare work and time, we oversimplify the problem by assuming that since work TAKES time, work IS time. We thus can, retaining our measly sanity, say that we have more work than time. Coming back to life, people often feel overburdened with work, this is simple to understand, since, if you are reading this, you are advanced enough to want to do too many things. Yes, it's sad.

Let us try to understand why this happens. Firstly, there exist the Statoblasters. That's just the kind of statement from me that shows I have much time (see later), therefore less time.

Secondly, your fingers are slimy. Not my fault. Your fingers are ill conditioned for holding the fabric of time.

Lastly, the theory states so. It WILL slip. So there.

Another theory commonly used in conjunction with the Time Slip Theory is the even more popular Less is More Theory, which states,

'Less is More'

Essentially, when you have more work than time, time relatively seems less, but then actually you have more time, which, explains why people do nothing useful most of the time: they have too much of it!

PS: About the series 'Many Lives', it's ridiculously hard to make stories. I never really appreciated story writers until today. It'll move slowly. But it'll move for now. All suggestions welcome.

Many Lives, Episode 1

He sat on a rock by the beach, staring into the ocean. The waves rippled inward. The breeze was cool and flowing into the sea. The atmosphere salty. Lighting dim, sun down.

"C'mon Jack."

Jack turned back, "You guys go along".

"Jack, you're such a spoilsport sometimes".

"Hey, he's in a mooood!"

"Guys let's go"

They left laughing, shouting and talking.

He stared back at the ocean. "It wasn't always like this, was it?", he asked himself. He stared at the scars on his wrist. Sometimes he thought he felt them stinging, like a reminder, an alarm. "But they shouldn't now", he thought. "Even now?". "That's crazy, Vik", he told himself. He left Jack to sit by the rocks, saw his clenched fist and angry posture, thought it was best to leave him alone, and followed his friends. Nicole had turned around, saw him coming, "Guys, Vik is coming...". They waited and left for their separate dates...it was Valentines. Jack ditched it.

Resolving unresolved issues

I was 'tagged' by Adi.

Anyway, my resolutions for 2006.

• Sleep for atleast 7 hrs daily and wake up before 7 am daily.
  
• Make only two resolutions next year one of which is this one.